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In My Next Life, I Want To Be a Management Consultant

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Skeptical Scalpel

Skeptical Scalpel is a recently retired surgeon and was a surgical department chairman and residency program director for many years. He is board-certified in general surgery and a surgical sub-specialty and has re-certified in both several times. For the last two years, he has been blogging at SkepticalScalpel.blogspot.com and tweeting as @SkepticScalpel. His blog averages over 900 page views per day, and he has over 5600 followers on Twitter.

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Skeptical Scalpel (click to view)

Skeptical Scalpel

Skeptical Scalpel is a recently retired surgeon and was a surgical department chairman and residency program director for many years. He is board-certified in general surgery and a surgical sub-specialty and has re-certified in both several times. For the last two years, he has been blogging at SkepticalScalpel.blogspot.com and tweeting as @SkepticScalpel. His blog averages over 900 page views per day, and he has over 5600 followers on Twitter.

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They advise, and they leave. They don't see the aftermath of their actions nor do they suffer the consequences. They also make a lot of money.

I once blogged that in my next life, I wanted to be reincarnated as a weatherman. You get to make predictions and have no accountability when they are wrong (except for one Washington, DC weatherman who recently was given a “time out” after an erroneous forecast).

I know it can be stressful when you have to stand on the beach in front of a TV camera and try to keep your cap on during a hurricane.

But even so, it seems a bit easier than being a surgeon, a job which is very stressful and carries severe penalties for errors—especially for the patients.

Another occupation that is similar in circumstances and results to meteorology is that of consultant. They advise, and they leave. They don’t see the aftermath of their actions nor do they suffer the consequences. They also make a lot of money.

A few years ago, a group of consultants convinced a hospital’s administration that it would be a good idea to totally reconfigure the nursing service. Among their numerous recommendations was that all staff nurses should be let go and then encouraged to reapply for their jobs.

To the surprise of only the hospital administration (not the consultants who were, of course, long gone or many others who thought the plan was ludicrous), the nurses were less than enthusiastic. In fact, they were insulted. Many simply found jobs elsewhere. Several floors were left without experienced staff. It took years to recover from the damage.

Maybe I shouldn’t even wait for reincarnation. I am thinking about becoming a consultant right now.

So I am officially a consultant.

Please feel free to contact me for any problems your organization might have. I will expect a handsome retainer in advance. As a change agent, I want to meet with all thought leaders, stakeholders and occupants of C-level to discuss strategic planning (as opposed to regular planning), throughput, low-hanging fruit, leveraging value streams, and core competencies.

If you don’t speak “Consultant,” definitions of terms used in my last sentence can be found here in the Business Jargon Dictionary.

The Skeptical Scalpel. My motto is “I came; I consulted; I left.”

Skeptical Scalpel is a recently retired surgeon and was a surgical department chairman and residency program director for many years. He is board-certified in general surgery and a surgical sub-specialty and has re-certified in both several times. For the last two years, he has been blogging at SkepticalScalpel.blogspot.com and tweeting as @SkepticScalpel. His blog averages over 900 page views per day, and he has over 5600 followers on Twitter.

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